| Random Thoughts |
[03 Feb 2007|12:53am] |
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WHen I get Where I'm Going- Brooks and Dunn |
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Ok, so today was my last shift as a security guard for Wackenhut. All happy and good right? Well, my day went like this. 1) Woke up late and missed an appointment I had. 2) Found out that there was nothing to eat or drink in the apartment so I went hungry/thirsty. 3) Checked for my direct deposit. Hooray! Its 100 dollars less than the last one, which was 100 dollars less than the last one, which was 100 dollars less than the last one, which was 100 dollars less than the last one... see the patern? 4) Put on my last pair of clean work pants then sit down and they rip. 5) Get down to my truck and realize I left my window down all night, in the rain, so the interior of my truck is soaked.6) Go back up stairs to try and find a towel to put over the seat. Can't find my beach towles which are the only ones big enough. Finally find one. 7) Go back down to my truck.. running late for work.. and forget the clothes I needed to drop off to get laundered so I have something to wear for my new job on Monday. Guess I get to go clothes shopping tommrow.. hooray! more money I don't have and can't afford to spend but have to anyway.8) Get to work late and get reamed out by my boss for being late, right before he wishes me well in my new job. 9) its been raining all day so the sight is nothing but mud... and while walking a patrol i happen to step on what i thought was solid earth but was real loose, sloppy mud/quicksand and go in up to my knee... which trips me and I take a header into the mud. 9) Being extremely hungry and thirsty, I wrap myself in the towel and a jacket and drive to a gas station for food/drink. And come back to find the boss of my boss has stopped by for a visit and was wondering where I was. Get another ass chewing and the explanation that if this wasn't my last shift, I'd be written up. 10) Finally the blessed hour approaches and I get ready to go home, and have to wait 45 more minutes because my relief forgot he was supposed to work. Well, that was my day... karmic train to hell or what. I don't know who or what I pissed off but today (actually yesterday now) sucked monkey balls. And despite all of this, I still feel a sense of regret about leaving my job. This always happens to me. Every time I leave a job, intellectually I know its for the better and I will improve my station in life.. but I still feel guilt about leaving, like I'm some kind of traitor. Every job I've ever left.. I feel the same. Even though I cave them 2 weeks notice to find someone to replace me, they haven't/ And we were short staff anyway. So now, everybody assigned to both the St. Pete and Largo facilities are pulling 12-16 hour days every day to cover all the necessary shifts. And I feel responsible, and I feel guilty. Why? WHy? Why? WHy do I feel this way. I know I did everything right, and I have to look out for what is in my best interest, but it messes me up inside. Whatever... anyone has an insight.. feel free to share.. cause I can't figure it out. Peace.
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| Well..... |
[31 Jan 2007|02:49pm] |
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SInce I almost forgot I have a live journal.. I may as well post something up. Umm... yeah thats about it. I still don't see the point of these things, and really this LJ just becomes an object lesson in the st00pid things people do when they are drunk. Oh well. I got 20 min or so before I have to leave for work... 3 more shifts to go then I can kiss security goodbye.. hopefully forever. I will be interesting to see if things will work out for me at JPMC, but if they don't, hell.. thats what unemployment and welfare are for. Anyway.. I got nothing..... I wonder how many people will actually read this. Stupid rantings and ravings.
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| Merry Christmas Friends!!!!! |
[25 Dec 2006|08:44am] |
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Mother- Danzig |
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Just wishing all my friends out there a Merry X-mas and fat loot under the tree.
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| Whatever.. I'm sleep deprived |
[23 Dec 2006|12:56am] |
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What Hurts the Most-Mark Wills |
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Just when things get going good.. life throws you a flaming turd. I can't catch a fucking break. Drama from 5 years ago should not be hitting me now, again.... and people wonder why I drink so much. This quiz should be interresting.
| | The Slow Dancer Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDm)
Steady, reliable, and cradling her tenderly. Take a deep breath, and let it out real easy...you are The Slow Dancer.
Your focus is love, not sex, and for your age, you have average experience. But you're a great, thoughtful guy, and your love life improves every year. There's also a powerful elimination process working in your favor: most Playboy types get stuck raising unwanted kids before you even begin settling down. The women left over will be hot and yours. Your ideal woman is someone intimate, intelligent, and very supportive.
Your exact opposite: The Hornivore
 Random Brutal Sex Master
| While you're not exactly the life of the party, you do thrive in small groups of smart people. Your circle of friends is extra tight and it's HIGHLY likely they're just like you. You appreciate symmetry in relationships.
ALWAYS AVOID: The Battleaxe
CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor or The Sonnet |
Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating. |
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| Some jokes for the holidays. |
[30 Nov 2006|01:36am] |
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lethargic |
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The Chaunnaka Song - Adam Sandler |
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Feel free to share these...
- Why are women's breasts like a train set under the Christmas Tree? - Because they were made for children but Dad wants to play with them.
- Why doesn't Santa have any children? - Because he only comes once a year and its always down the chimney.
- How are a Christmas Tree and a Priest alike? - They both have ornamental balls.
- Why is christmas just like a day at the office? - You do all the work, and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
- The Sunday before Christmas, a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money. He promised that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns. A spinster ran up to the alter, handed the priest a check for $5,000 and said, "I'll take him, him, and him."
Here's a couple not related to the holidays, but still good.
- How do you get rid of unwanted pubic hair? - Spit.
- The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had finished his speech and walked out into the lobby, where he met President Bush. "you know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America," he said. "My son watches Star Trek and on it ther is Checkov, wo is Russian, Scotty, who is Scottish, and Sulu, who is Japanese, but no Iranians. My son is very upset and doesn't understand why there aren't any Iranians on the show." President Bush laughed and replied, "Thats because it takes place in the future."
And on that note.. Goodnight and Farewell.
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| Fear Me! |
[19 Nov 2006|06:35pm] |
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cynical |
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War Pigs - Black Sabbath |
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Ok,, I did not see this one coming.....

You are The Tower
Ambition, fighting, war, courage. Destruction, danger, fall, ruin.
The Tower represents war, destruction, but also spiritual renewal. Plans are disrupted. Your views and ideas will change as a result.
The Tower is a card about war, a war between the structures of lies and the lightning flash of truth. The Tower stands for "false concepts and institutions that we take for real." You have been shaken up; blinded by a shocking revelation. It sometimes takes that to see a truth that one refuses to see. Or to bring down beliefs that are so well constructed. What's most important to remember is that the tearing down of this structure, however painful, makes room for something new to be built.
What Tarot Card are You? Take the Test to Find Out.
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| Much Delayed Posting |
[11 Nov 2006|11:14am] |
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exhausted |
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Enter Sandman - Metallica |
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Ok, so maybe I don't use this thing as much as some people do, but what the hey. So.. I just finished a 19 hour shift at work and upon my arrival home found something interesting in my mailbox. I've been issued a subpoena by the state. I'm sure many of you remember the accident that forced my truck into a tree several months ago. Well, the bastards are supposed to be paying me 10k for it. I have yet to see the money. They called me with some lame ass excuse about how they "mailed it to the wrong apartment and it got returned" and that they would "get it back out to the correct address 'right away'." That was a week ago.... but I digress. Apparently, the state is pursuing some sort of case against Jose Navarro, the driver of the truck. I'm not sure what, but it must be something related to the accident because they want me as a witness. Hooray... so at 830am on Tuesday, January 16, I get to sit in the Hillsbourough County Courthouse Annex and testify against Jose. Interestingly enough, this will be the first time I have seen him. SHould be interresting. Anywho... 19 hours of work is enough.. I'm goin to bed now. Laters all.
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| Well.... Crap! |
[19 Sep 2006|12:59pm] |
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depressed |
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Boulevard of Broken Dreams-Green Day |
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Ok, again, since I haven't posted anything in a while, thought I'd just bring an update on the car problem. Well, it seems that the initial estimate for repair overlooked one minor thing... the AIRBAGS! So, that just added another $2,500 in parts and labor to the repair that the insurance still hasn't agreed to pay yet... hell, the insurance people won't even return my calls. So, as it looks right now, my parents will be shelling over the $10,500 or so dollars it will take to repair my truck. Thats over half the value of my remaining loan. So, in exchange for this, I have to put up with the ass chewings of my life for being so stupid to get myself into this situation. And you know what.. I can't even fault them for it because they are correct. If I did have the Comp/Collision insurance as required by law for a vehicle with a loan on it, my insurance would have paid this for a $500 deductible and then gone after this other insurance company themselves. I have a feeling that this is going to go to civil litigation, and that will take a long time. And a lawyer. Damn.. I fucking lose. Now, granted. I have made complaints with the state, the Better Business Bureau, and I even called 8 Action News "on Your Side", in an effort to bring pressure on these people. Lets hope it works.. I mean really. Lets hope it works. Cause yeah, if it doesn't. I will be working a LOT of 80-90 hour weeks and completely destroying any chance for a social life I might have been trying to ressurect. As the cycle of life goes, I'm definately on the downward slide right now. Anyone got a winning lotto ticket they don't need? Any who.... thats where we stand for now. Peace out all.
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| GoodNight/Bad Night |
[26 Aug 2006|04:23am] |
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worried and in pain |
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None |
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Well, it started off as a pretty decent night. My return to Garou went well and it was good to see most of these people again. Then, things went to shit. Driving home, Brian and I were overtaken by another vehicle doing well over 100. I saw him and started to get over but he was coming too fast and barely saw me at the last minute. He swerved out around me and then lost control of his truck and crossed in front of me. I hit the brakes and swerved, narowly advoiding him. Unfortunately I was in a loosing battle to regain control of my truck and went off the road into a tree. Brian and I are fine, nothing more than air-bag and seat-belt bruises, maybe some whip-lash we haven't felt yet. However, my truck is toatled. My brand new, less than 1500 miles on the odometer truck was toatled. FHP nabbed the other guy after he left the scene and 3 witnesses backed up my story and identified the driver of the other truck, so it was clearly not my fault. If the other guy has insurance, no problem. However, if he doesn't, I'm straight up fucked. I had yet to improve the coverage on my truck so I don't have comprehensive collision. Which means that if the other guy doesn't have insurance, mine won't cover it, and I'm stuck without a vehicle making 6 years of payments on a truck I got to have for a month.... so lets all hope and pray the guy has insurance. Otherwhise I'm so far down in the shitter I can't see the toilet paper roll..... all I have to wonder is why this shit happens to me... I mean really.. why me.... boy.. maybe I should have gone to the hospital.. my back and neck are seriously starting to hurt... I hope its not messed up too bad. SHit ... I think I'm gonna go to sleep now. Or try to anyway....
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| why the hell not.. i'm bored |
[28 Jul 2006|11:48pm] |
Here is the Astro Chart you requested:
Hi there, here is the interpretation of the astrological chart that you asked for. Also attached is a .GIF graphic file which depicts your chart wheel. Thank you for visiting the Astrolabe WEB site at http://alabe.com This report has been created especially for you. It represents your Unique picture at the time you were born and at the place you were born. If you are unsure of the exact time of day of your birth (or the date or the place), the reading will probably not seem as accurate as it could be in certain places, but other parts will seem to be very appropriate. You will notice at certain places in the reading that contradictory information seems to be given. This is to be expected, because the personality of most people is extremely complex. For example, at times we are quite shy and at other times we are very aggressive, and so forth. You will also notice that, at certain points in the reading, certain patterns may be repeated over and over, especially in a longer more detailed report than this one. This is also to be expected. This simply means that your horoscope has an extremely strong focus on this particular pattern and that you should pay extra close attention to what is said about it. Now, on with your Report!
Name: Mikel Smith May 8 1982 3:43 AM Time Zone is EDT Columbus, OH
Rising Sign is in 10 Degrees Pisces Very sensitive to your surroundings, other people's feelings become your feelings. Try to avoid negative people because your tendency to empathize with them will make you negative also. An idealist, you must believe in something beyond your normal everyday existence. A dreamer, you like to escape to a world of your own creation. As such, you are known for the vividness of your imagination and should try to share your inner visions with others. Very self-sacrificial by nature, beware of others becoming overly dependent on you or vice versa. Allow yourself to live for yourself once in a while -- you deserve it. Don't be so envious of those who are more aggressive than you -- your gentle charity and true humility are indeed wonderful gifts. on the tenth house cusp (MIDHEAVEN).
Sun is in 17 Degrees Taurus. You are known for being patient, slow moving and careful -- you love to prolong and savor enjoyable times. You appreciate and need comfort, ease and warm surroundings. Be careful of a tendency to become placid and self-satisfied and to overeat (especially sweets). You require strenuous situations in order to grow and mature properly, even though you try to avoid them. Affectionate, even-tempered and slow to anger -- when you do become emotionally upset, you are also slow to forgive and time must pass before your calm returns. You demand real results from any situation -- abstractions are very difficult for you to comprehend. Very artistic, your hands love to mold and shape things. You portray an earthy, physical sexiness that others find quite seductive.
Moon is in 20 Degrees Scorpio. Your feelings are very intense, never superficial. You tend to be either very angry or very sad or completely and totally happy. Your moods are deep, extreme and not always completely understood by yourself or by those with whom you have to deal. Emotionally, you tend to prefer to live at the cutting edge of life, pushing your reactions to the ultimate extremes, even if the results are dangerous or upsetting. You are easily jealous and very suspicious -- you require a great deal of emotional reassurance. A good detective, you are very curious about deep and mysterious things, especially human nature and motivations. Be careful not to be ruthless, tactless or too overly frank or you will meet with much resistance from others.
Mercury is in 08 Degrees Gemini. Your mind is active, quick and agile. You are very restless and you get bored easily. Unless you receive constant mental stimulation, you become extremely nervous and begin to act in an unstable manner. You are probably a good student because of your natural inquisitiveness. You also love to travel. Your learning tends to be superficial, though, because you have a relatively short attention span. Try to develop the mental discipline to finish what you start. Also, you tend to talk on at times seemingly just to fill space -- make sure that your conversation has some substance to it or others will start avoiding you.
Venus is in 04 Degrees Aries. You are a very affectionate person but you hate to be tied down. You are more than willing to be the aggressor in initiating new relationships. Indeed, once you have set your sights on someone, you tend to pursue him or her ardently and passionately. But you do demand your own way in a relationship. Try to give in to your partner's needs and desires once in a while.
Mars is in 00 Degrees Libra. You are very aware of the need to cooperate with others in order to further any effort. You are usually willing to compromise with others, although you can be quite competitive in a friendly way. Very fair- minded and impartial, you have the ability to sense injustice and the desire to take corrective actions to make proper compensations. You see both sides of issues and questions, but you tend to be undecided or wavering when forced to make choices that might make you vulnerable or unpopular.
Jupiter is in 03 Degrees Scorpio. You love to dig deep beneath surface appearances in order to find out what is really happening. A persistent researcher, you are very interested in the psychology of any situation. You tend to become overwhelmed by the complexity of what you uncover, however, and that makes you a bit gun-shy about explaining things to others. But you must learn to try to communicate as best you can because what you know is really very valuable to others.
Saturn is in 16 Degrees Libra. Although you take quite a while to make decisions, you usually consider all sides to a question, all the pros and cons, and the solution you come up with is very often the correct one. You tend to be very reserved and shy, but, once you make a commitment to someone (in either a business or personal relationship), the partnership is forever. You have a strong sense of justice and fair play and greatly respect the laws and institutions by which you are governed. As such, you are outraged when others break laws or show contempt for authority.
Uranus is in 03 Degrees Sagittarius. You, and most of your peers, have the tendency to think that all ideas, customs and traditions from the past are outmoded and irrelevant. You are attracted to radically new ideas, philosophies and religions that will, hopefully, cause sweeping changes throughout the world.
Neptune is in 26 Degrees Sagittarius. You, and your entire generation, are heavily involved in investigating and idealizing foreign and exotic intellectual systems and religious philosophies. The most extreme ideals will be pursued with gusto. You will be at the forefront of humanitarian attempts to improve the lot of those who are in need of assistance. You will be comfortable with the concept of the "global village."
Pluto is in 24 Degrees Libra. For your entire generation, this is a time of radical changes in society's attitude toward marriage and interpersonal relationships. There is a general fear and awe at the power inherent in making emotional or contractual commitments -- they will not be entered into lightly.
N. Node is in 14 Degrees Cancer. You genuinely enjoy meeting other people, but you're at your best if you can do so from the comfort of your own home. You prefer others to come to you and tend to feel uncomfortable about leaving your home or neighborhood for any extended period of time. Those who do come in contact with you are struck by your caring and obliging nature -- you really make them feel at home. You form the closest ties, however, with members of your immediate family, especially your parents and children. You're at your best attending or organizing family reunions!
Hmm.... interesting..... eh some of it I can see, most of it I think is BS... what's y'all's interpretation
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| Turnabout is Fair Play |
[20 Jul 2006|08:46am] |
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Panic at the Disco-I write Sins not Tragedies |
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They say that brevity is the soul of wit. Time to test that.
Respond to this post and I will give you the three words that I think MOST accurately describe you.
The cost? You have to return the favor by posting this in your own journal.
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| interesting... |
[04 Jul 2006|11:36pm] |
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fucked in the head |
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I Write Sins Not Tragedies-Panic! at the Disco |
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Stolen from Willowfey
So... y'all agree with this evaluation?
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| survival.. sort of |
[04 May 2006|10:51pm] |
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blank |
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Well... I made it through the shift without getting shot. Hooray! I even got out early enough that I have time to come home, get a drink, secure my weapon, ih yeah, and wonder why the apartment is threatening to throw us out for not paying the rent when they cashed my damn check. So I'm a little pissed. This is a good thing. Maybe the anger will keep me awake for the next 8 hours of work I have to do. Oh yeah, and they want me to work the same shift tommorow, so yay, i get to get another 4 hours of sleep before working 16 hours a day again. My total is now at 64 for the week by the way. Oh well, time to head out and go to work again. Lets hope my luck holds and I don't get shot tommorow either....
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| Yeeehaa Here we go again.. and again.. and again |
[04 May 2006|08:18am] |
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aggravated |
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I know this is going to sound repetitive, but the cock-smokers in the office are giving me the shaft again. In the waning moments of an 9 hour shift, i receive a call from the office saying they need me to work from 1500-2300 today at a grocery store. Fine, sure whatever. Three problems here. 1) With turnaround time i will only get 4 hours of sleep. 2) This is yet another 16 hour shift on very little sleep. (See my last post in regards to a sleep deprived guy with a gun.) 3) and what I consiter the best is that this grocery store is in one of the worst ghetto areas of St. Pete. So, the office is sticking one uniformed white guy with a 6 shot .38 revolver in the middle of the area responsible for every riot or civil disturbance regarding race in St. Pete since I moved down here. At this time of night, I will probably be the only white guy for a mile in the midle of an extremely improvished area that averages 15 police respondig to violence calls a night. Just a fair heads up, if I don't post something by tommorow, assume I got my silly ass shot by some crack head who was jonsing for his fix and needed some quick cash. As the marines say, Welcome to the Suck. Imma go to sleep now. Peace all.
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[29 Apr 2006|09:25pm] |
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mood |
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cranky |
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Well, the great big old shaft in the sky has struck again. As if working back to back 16 hour days wasn't enough, I now have to work a 18 and a half hour shift tommorow (0600 Sunday to 0030 Monday.. what the fuck!). 5 people called off and Wackenhut is already short on CPO's to stand post, so I will have myself a rosy 68 hours this week. Hooray! paychek. Boo! sleep deprived guy with a loaded gun. Well I have to look at it like this. When I deploy with the Hurricane Response Team, that will be 15-18 hours a day seven days a week. So I guess I should look at this as conditioning for getting fucked in the ass without lube. It can only get worse from here. Sometimes you just have to wonder if the paycheck is really worth it. Oh well, guess I'd better go to sleep so I don't accendently shoot myself or some innocent pedestrian tommorow. *sighs* Did I ever mention I hate my job and my life.
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| since i havent posted for a while... |
[27 Apr 2006|08:34am] |
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tired |
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You Are From Saturn |

You're steady, organizes, and determined to achieve your dreams. You tend to play it conservative, going by the rules (at least the practical ones). You'll likely reach the top. And when you do, you'll be honorable and responsible. Focus on happiness. Don't let your goals distract you from fun! Don't be too set in your ways, and you'll be more of a success than you ever dreamed of.
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I saw this quiz and figured why not. Nothing really else new and big going on. Just got of 16 hours so I think I'm gonna sleep now. What the hell, its an easy week for me.... only 50 hours.
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| I'm so wonewy.... |
[19 Apr 2006|11:33pm] |
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I'm so wonewey- (Kim Il Sung) "Team America World Police" |
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Alright.... I must admit something. WORK SUCKS!!!!!! I truly do hate my job. Granted the money is decent, and it not hard by any stretch of the imagination, but it just sucks. At least for me. I just spent 8 hours sitting in a golf cart in a parking lot with only the seagulls as company, and get a whopping hour off before I have go go sit in the lobby of an abandoned building for 8 hours. Hooray me!!! Yeah, not even a little bit. I always viewed myself as a loner, happiest and able to be alone all the time and love it. And then I started working security where for 8-16 hours at a time I have only my own thoughts to keep me company. I feel alone and get these urges to just pick up my phone and call everyone I know. Of course I usually don't because most people don't appreciate being woken up at 3am "just to chat". So I sit, and i brood, and a feel suppressed until that magic 8th hour comes up and my relief arrives. I'm so happy to be able to see and speak with a live human being I have to resist the urge to just run up and hug the guy. ( I know.. freaky weird right... well I agree) I have truly discovered I can't stand to be alone. And its not just work. If I am home by myself, I start getting the urge to just drink.. a lot. When I get of work and I've been alone and in a depressed mood, then I get home to an empty place, then I want to drink even more. Booze of course attenuates my mental state and I get even worse in a never ending spiral. Thank God I don't keep liqueur in the house any more, or I'd always be drunk. So yeah... there it is. One of my fears, you know those Fears with the capital "F" that permeate your psyche and define part of who you are. Well, there is a big one of mine.. I hate to be alone.... And on that note.. it off to the abandoned building for 8 hours. [I think I'm going to go insane.]
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| Ahh.. all work and no sleep kicks Mikey's Ass! |
[08 Apr 2006|08:46pm] |
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drained |
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I Stand Alone-Godsmack |
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Ok, So here's how it goes down. Game goes late last night, I get my 3 hrs of sleep and get up expecting to work my normal 8 hour shift. I wish. So I have to leave my normal shift early to go stand post outside a bank in near Countryside Mall. Hooray, my 8hr day just became a 13hr day. and I've got 12 more hours to work tommorow. Joy. ANywho, not 5 minutes after I arrive, there is an accident at the intersection right next to the bank. Because my post is outside, I happen to be looking that way just in time to see a motorcycle plow into the side of a Jeep at about 40. Hooray, now I get to be a witness. The ambulance, fire, and police all respond within a minute and a half tops ( I was quite impressed by that) and the poor guy who was riding the bike (without a helmet I believe) gets attended to for about 10 minutes on the ground, then he's loaded into the waiting ambulance, which sits there for 20 more minutes while they work on him inside. Now, I don't claim to know anything about EMT procedures, but when trying to save someone life, it seems that getting them to a hospital fast is a good idea. Now, after sitting there for 30 minutes, the ambulance turns off its lights and drives slowly away. Using common sense, that would indicate one thing to me. The poor WIA just became a KIA and speed was no longer necessary. But I hope and pray that I am wrong about that. So, thats how my afternonn started. Granted, giving a statement to the cops wasn't too bad, but still, I could feel the I hate Rent-A-Cop vibes coming off of this guy. So whatever. Granted, despite seeing a possibly fatal motorcycle crash rignt in front of me is a bit rough, I'm still planning on getting a motorcycle for myself. I was talking to my family in Ohio and my Uncle has a 1985 Honda Something (Can't remember the name of the bike) with only 17k miles on it, that he will sell me for cheap. Yay family discounts. The only thing is that I would have to take a week off of work, get a one way ticket to Ohio and ride the bike back down here. Now, that would probably be a very enjoyable ride through the mountains, but damn thats a long time in a motorcycle seat. Eh, I'll probably do it anyway. Ah, so, my total hours for my first full week of working for Wackenhut is not going to be at 54 hours. At $11/hr I'm not knocking the overtime. Soooo tired though. Fatigue and a loaded weapon is not a good combo. Oh well, I go where they tell me and take what they give me. ANd of course, because I'm working a combination of mornings, afternoons, and nights, my poor body clock is all fucked up. I should be passed out right now, but I'm wide frickin awake. SO I guess I'll drink some roofie tea and hope it knocks me out. Cause 12 hours of fun awaits me tommorow. Boy, I love my life. Laters all.
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